Today we received a very disturbing email from a female friend in the neighborhood, and felt compelled to share it:
Yesterday [Saturday (corrected)], in the middle of the afternoon - in broad daylight - my girlfriend and I were physically accosted along Cortelyou road by three young men who repeatedly threatened to violently rape us, simply for walking hand in hand down the sidewalk together. We called 911 after we managed to get away from them but only officers on foot responded, and too late to find the men to make a report and press charges.
I have lived in this neighborhood for three years, and I love it. I love the diversity of it, from the people to the restaurants, the co-op, our little farmer's market and CSA, and it's unique urban landscape. What I don't love about this neighborhood is the amount of cat-calling and harassment I have to face almost every day as a woman walking down the street here. I can't remember the last time I was able to walk between my apartment on Ocean Avenue and the Q train along Cortelyou without being whistled at or having kissing noises made at me or having to either absorb or deflect off-color or vulgar comments from men of all ages and all races. This only gets worse when I walk with my girlfriend through the neighborhood. I used to have the sense that this was a safe place for women (and for lesbian and gay couples) but that sense is rapidly fading.
I feel infinitely safer walking alone or with my girlfriend through Park Slope and Prospect Heights, neighborhoods where I also spend a lot of time. I want to live here in Ditmas Park, to realize all the good this neighborhood has to offer, to invest in the new businesses and to contribute to, participate in and benefit from the thriving sense of community here, but I am starting to feel like the constant threats and misogyny I feel on the streets here (and not in other places in Brooklyn) are not worth the payoff.
I wanted to write here to make people aware of what happened yesterday and what continues to happen, and to remind women in particular to be careful as they traverse through the neighborhood.
I also would like to find out if I am alone in these conflicting feelings about the place we all call home, or if these are issues that others in the neighborhood are grappling with as well. I'm starting to run out of tools with which to approach this challenge personally, not to mention patience.
I don't want to have to move away in order to feel safe and respected, and I wonder if anyone who has faced this particular situation here has any suggestions or points of hope to share around this issue.
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DINGLEberries wrote:
ReplyDelete" I have the same problems along Church Ave (though it's more expected along church)."
Though It's More Expected Along Chruch.
That says it all. The Usual Suspects? Guess Who?
MilbyDaniel said:
"One thing that people have been doing online to curb this bad behavior is posting photos of harassers."
Any trends apparent from the mug shots?
John said:
"I have heard from my girlfriend many accounts of this, and it's unsettling to me. The city we moved from was so bad in this respect that I had to walk her home from work every night..."
Hmmm...
and:
"One thing I hear a lot is that really young kids are saying really vile shit."
They do. Everyday in school, where there's no penalty. Of course, it's not every kid. And, like or not, a kid's race and/or ethnicity is a near perfect predictor of this form of misbehavior.
John said:
"I guess what I'm saying is that I don't know how this kind of treatment of women became acceptable to some part of our society."
YOumay not know how verbal abuse of women became acceptable. But it is -- among specific segments of the population.
John suggests:
"Maybe if the larger portion of us that aren't assholes are vocal about this behavior being unacceptable, the idea will sink in some."
The verbal abuse of women is blowback from liberal policies that relieve people of all accountability. From Kanye West, to Chris Brown and Rhianna, to Ike and Tina, it's the same old story.
There's not much you can do about the dirtbags who run their mouths.
But, the odds are high that most of them have had previous encounters with the police. They do not want more police attention.
Therefore, if you are accosted, let them know you are calling the cops, and call immediately.
Since they inevitably live nearby, enough victims calling the police will eventually lead to getting them nailed.
None of the other nonsense will work. Unfortunately, if female victims call the cops, our city councilman will probably get a lot of complaints about police harrassment of certain minority groups. And he will back the people claiming police harrassment.
Who Ya Gonna Call?
ReplyDeleteGhostbusters?
Clearly identifiable groups of males in the area harrass young women.
Unfortunately, every solution to the harrassment problem mentioned by posters here is useless.
Ladies, no verbal tricks will work.
Physical response? Female empowerment through martial arts? Forget it. Unless you land a nasty shot to your harrasser's testicles first, you will lose the fight.
Call the cops. Take photos. Don't lose your cell phone.
Remarkably, though the issue of sexual and verbal harrassment of women is an everyday problem in the area, not one candidate from this district running for the city council mentioned it.
Instead, the two losing candidates ran on platforms claiming the chief problem in the neighborhood was the police force.
Let's hear it for Rocky and Rickie.
Then there's the nitwit incumbent, who has no position on anything accept how to collect his paycheck from taxpayers. He has a website. But there are no entries. Other than a top page withhis name and a nice red background, it's empty.
Ladies, you gotta call the cops. Every time.
You are delusional if you think some form of "sensitivity training" is the answer.
A neighbor writes:
ReplyDeleteThe day of the Flatbush Frolic, I went to the Laundromat on the corner of East 16th and Cortelyou to pick up laundry I had dropped off.
I looked through the bag to make sure all was there and discovered that basically everything was ruined. It seems that they dumped a bottle of bleach in with all of my colors, so all of my very expensive quilts were now tye dyed.
I remained very calm, pointed it out to the woman who had washed my things, and she refused to take any responsibility and immediately said, “take me to court”…I continued to stay calm, although my blood was boiling and as I stood there in disbelief realizing that basically I was screwed.
Another woman who was in the laundry came over and began yelling me, telling me that I should get my white ass out of the neighborhood, that nobody wants us here. She told me to take a look around, that I was “out numbered” and that I better get the hell out of there while I still could. Did I mention that my ten year old son was standing right next to me?
I’ve lived in the neighborhood for 8 years and I am a native of Brooklyn. I have experienced a lot of things, but it has been a long time since I’ve experienced that kind of racially motivated hostility. I have not felt the same since.
Our neighbor also wrote:
ReplyDeleteIn addition to this, I was sexually assaulted while walking my dog at 9pm a few weeks ago.
A guy rode up to me on his bike and grabbed my breasts and behind. I called the police immediately and was told that I was the 15th person in the area the reported similar incidents.
About my groping incident, it happened on Ditmas between east 17th and 18th. The police said that all of the other victims were young girls, which made me more concerned. I made sure to tell all my neighbors with teen girls.
The police had NOTHING good to say about our neighborhood.
Wow, I wish I had seen these posts a long time ago. I lived in Ditmas Park for a brief time and have never felt more unsafe walking down the street, even in broad daylight. I lived on E 19th between Cortelyou and Dorchester, and learned early on to avoid Ocean Av. at all costs. However, even walking down busy Cortelyou during rush-hour I have been called racially-based names, have been told to 'get the f$&k out of our neighborhood', have had a teenager, part of a group of teens, walk over my toes as I was walking in front of the Chinese restaurant on the corner of E16th and Cortelyou, and he/they were crossing the sidewalk to go into the restaurant. He literally stepped on my toes rather than wait a second to let me walk past him. I took it for the behavior of a male teen who was probably very hungry and maybe thought he was being funny, but quickly changed my mind when he looked me straight in the eye and said 'You liked that, you white b*tch', and one of his friends said 'yeah, you want more of that you white b*tch'. I knew nothing of all the sexual assaults but I felt uneasy ever since after that, and even more after I was walking home from work around 7pm one night and a group of guys walking behind me started to say 'I'm gonna f**ck you up, you white b**tch'. They said it over and over and I never turned around but assumed it was meant for me, since I seemed to be the only white woman on the street at that moment. I have never experienced any harassment when walking with my husband (also white), and he has not experienced any of the racially based 'catcalls' that were directed at me. Maybe they are just afraid of other men. I hated Ditmas Park SO MUCH for all the racism I was subjected to. Imagine if they had known that I am also Jewish?! We ran out of there as soon as we could and came back to beautiful Park Slope where people are kind and less primitive. Worth paying a bit more in real estate for peace of mind and happiness. Not worth dreading to go home every day because of the idiotic, animalistic behavior of your neighbors. What a shame as it's such a beautiful neighborhood and I'm sure good people do live there...
ReplyDeleteWomen and teens, and senior citizens should acquaint themselves with a .32 automatic, with a 9-shot clip; then get expert safety instruction. Be alert, where ever you live; it could save your life. If you are female, or an elderly person, man or woman, you are an easy mark for today's predator. Violence is a reality.
ReplyDeletereb
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